This week I am writing this email as I prepare to share this Thanksgiving holiday with friends and family. At the same time my house is decorated for Christmas… yes, we are “those” people. Our house has been decorated for Christmas since before my birthday earlier in the month.

So, with Christmas all around me, it is not hard to be thinking of Jesus. And today I was thinking about the name of Jesus. 

As I have gotten older, It has been getting harder and harder to sleep though the night without interruption. Sometimes I long for the days of being a teenager when I could go to bed at 11:00pm and sleep till noon and not be awoken by anything — even my mom’s early morning calls to join the family for breakfast.

One of the themes that I have picked up on is how our spiritual enemy seizes upon, and at times creates, my restlessness as opportunities to implant thoughts into my mind and spirit. Seldom are my late-night introspections good thoughts. Rather, they seem to take me to some of the worsts moments of my life and proceed to recite back a twisted spin of the events — all with basically this accusatory message of, “you suck. You are nothing.”

This has been a tough year for me. Now, to be fair, there has been a lot of joyful times, but, at the same time, it has been a tough year. 

On at least two occasions, my body has reminded me that I am LATE into my 40’s… in fact as I write this, my right arm is still in pain from a disc golf game I play with my boys — back in July. 

In addition to physical pain, there has been heartache, suffering, and betrayals. On top of this, my friends have been suffering as well.

Do you ever feel discouraged? We all do at one time or another. Maybe you are feeling discouraged right now.

• Maybe your marriage is not bringing the feelings you expected.
• Maybe being a parent is not what you though it was going to be.
• Maybe your job is not living up to what you wanted.
• Maybe you are feeling disconnected from old friends.
• Maybe you feel disconnected at church.

Whatever it is, discouragement leaves you feeling like an outsider at places that you once were very much the insider. You used to feel like you fit in, but now you’re not so sure you belong anymore.

This week I took some time to get away in the mountains to reflect and pray. As I have spent a lot of time with God out in nature this week, I have reflected on how much of my spiritual growth has come from times that were not in a church service.

As a pastor, this is a tough pill to swallow. 

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus has thirty-four intimate encounters with an individual. Of the thirty-four, one takes place in church.